Hot Mess.

I have been so busy the last week.  It has been nice but hectic at times.  I feel like a hot mess!  Well, not a whole lot has happened with me recently.  I, of course, have been thinking quite a bit.  When I have time that is.  My head is always spinning with so many different thoughts.  


Anyways, I finally do not feel alone.  When my best friend moved a couple weeks ago I was terrified.  I am not good with people I care about not being accessible.  I have been surprisingly all right.  I have not been with my close friends but I have made some pretty awesome new ones.  It is so much easier to be sad then to be happy with the way things are.  I have learned some pretty interesting things about people.  I have even been surprised by some feelings from others.  Even though they had no right to be upset and it was a double standard, it was interesting to see that side of them.

"Seasons come and go, but I will never change."

I usually do not have anything to legitimately talk about but today I do.  I have been feeling like a piece of meat instead of a human being here lately.  I probably should not feel like that but I definitely do.  All guys like is what they see. It is not just random guys. It is ones that I know as well.  I say that in a non vain way.  By no means do I think that I am the most attractive person.  Anyways,  I feel like guys nowadays just like the outside of a partner.  What ever happened to someones intellect? and actually wanting to take a girl out and expect nothing afterwards? I would much rather have a thrilling conversation than a visually stimulating mate.  Maybe it is just me.  The last time I felt like I had that has been way too long.  Which is really upsetting to me.  It is too bad, I love to have great conversation.  I really wish that people were less superficial.  Being  gawked at and talked to based on my looks alone is not flattering.  It makes me feel less intelligent than I am.  I feel like this all makes people more physically obsessed resulting in a whole mess of problems.  Maybe I am just over analyzing this situation (as always) with society. I just think that it is a waste everyone gets old and unattractive anyway.  So, think of that when you think someone is "cute and sexy."  I had to throw that in there because my elderly professor kept saying that today in class.  It was a bit awkward. Well, that is my rant for the week or so. 

"Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars.

Seeing is deceiving and dreaming is believing.

It's okay not to be okay."

I am getting really excited for this summer.  The end of the semester is about a week away.  I am going to be busy and it is going to be great!  I will be working, interning and having 5 luncheons with the OKC Chamber of Commerce.  Go me! :)


As odd as it sounds but being busy helps me feel alive.