4.

I feel as though I am blown away easily.  It is not that I get my hopes up fast or anything.  It is more like I always see the best in everyone.  It seems like the Motion City Soundtrack lyrics apply to me.  "They say I'm great at first and then the magic fades."

For the past couple weeks I have been struggling with a seemingly easy problem. I have a difficult time believing in relationships.  I would not be the same person today if it were not for relationships.  I would not change any of it, the good or the bad.  The never ending struggle of finding the "one" is always on everyones minds.  As I get older I find myself becoming hopeless but surprisingly fine with it.  I want to get swept off my feet but it just has not happened.  In the moment it feels like it, but if it's only in the moment then it is not real.

I don't want to question other people's motives, I would much rather just have faith.  Deep down inside that is possible but not right now.  I just cannot do it.

I have been trying to write this blog for two weeks now.  For once, I cannot articulate.