Sunday, February 13, 2011

Not Like the Movies

Life is strange isn't it?  My life has changed so much here lately and it is magnificent.  I have found and lost myself.  I also, found that I have amazing people in my life and even though we may have our arguments.  My best friend has been the only constant in my life since I was 12.  Crazy huh?

I love them all more than they know. If it wasn't for them I probably never would have found who I am.  I use to be the girl that had to have someone at all times.  In fact for five years I was either with or about to be with someone.  That is not the case anymore.  I have been single for nearly five months and it has been the most stress free months of my life.  I am not gonna lie I have cried myself to sleep a few of those nights but that just means I have feelings.  If I did not care I would not still love....you.

The reason I have been thinking so much and dreaming of my ex bf's and guys I have dated is because of the dreaded "declare my love for you," day.  Valentines day.  I am a hopeless romantic and cannot wait for the day I actually like this "holiday."  I thought I had found that someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but he changed his mind and continues to change his mind.  I do not think he realizes that this is worse than acting like I never existed to him.  The day that he can actually commit to me and only me than I will respect him until he's a coward.  I love him but it is the truth.

"When he's the one,
I'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning
And that's just the beginning."

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